evolution of lindsey out loud

Since I started Lindsey Out Loud in 2019, a lot has changed. My goals and “niche” have evolved, and I’ve switched gears several times.

The main reason I started my blog was to connect with other moms. I was working part time from home and had just had my third baby. I was going a little stir crazy being at home so much with the kids and it was during football season so my husband was coaching and gone a lot. I was lonely and craving human interaction, even if just on the internet. I was also barely making any money with my part time job and had heard there was money to be made online. So I thought, why the heck not.

My focus was mom tips, beauty, fashion and home decor. I got really lucky with some great collaboration opportunities right off the bat. I also got sucked into some scams because I was veryyy naive. But all the while, I was learning.

When the world shut down, I was lucky enough to be invited to a zoom call by a local blogger with several other bloggers/influencers. We started doing the calls pretty frequently and helping each other with tips and advice. I started showing them some things I had learned and helping them with their WordPress sites. I realized how much I loved helping and teaching others about this kind of stuff.

Through our zoom dates, I met my friend Lexi. I was still working part time from home but I began toying with the idea of starting my own business. Lexi was starting her own business around this same time and of course was very supportive and encouraging. She text me one day and said she had been thinking about starting a podcast. I told her I had too, and it would be cool if we did it together. But I had to make a choice of what I was going to do because I did still have that part time job and had limited time.

Well then the same week, I was unexpectedly fired. That was my sign to start my business and the podcast. A lot of people told me I should sue and other things but I decided the best revenge was being successful on my own.

I started telling everyone on Instagram that I was now offering web design and help with Instagram. Right off the bat I had some web design clients and tons of people wanting Instagram audits and coaching calls. I went viral on Instagram from a couple Reels so I was gaining lots of traction.

After a few months of this and doing the podcast, I was exhausted. I was almost to the point of burnout but I knew I just needed to refocus my business on what I really loved. I decided web design was what I was the most passionate about so I began to focus all my attention on that. At one point, I had 8 web design clients at one time that I was working on. Again, very thankful for the business, but I was also exhausting myself. Remember I’m also a mother of 3. And I was going through a lot in my personal life and with my mental health.

The podcast was so fun and we got to virtually meet so many amazing women from all over the world. It was very time consuming though because not only was I having to record the episodes, but I was also creating all the graphics and content for social media and editing and publishing all of the episodes.

In September of 2021, the kids and I moved into a new house and my husband didn’t come with us. I had told him I wanted a divorce. At this point, my mental health was the worst it had ever been. I was still doing a few web design projects but I had zero energy left to do anything with the podcast. I was a single mom of 3, and to try and get out of the house and distract my mind, I started working at Rustic Llama Boutique 1-2 times a week. I had never been more exhausted.

In November, I woke up one morning and it was like a switch flipped. I told my husband I wanted him to come home with us. I wanted to be with him. Without hesitation, he did. The kids were thrilled and we were a family again.

Then in December, I sunk into a deep depression. I already had an appointment with a psychiatrist scheduled to discuss possible ADHD symptoms I had been experiencing. By the time I got to that appointment, ADHD was the least of my concerns. I was so depressed and my mind was just fuzzy. It was like I was looking at my life from an outside perspective. I don’t know how to describe it other than it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced. I’ve know for a long time that I have anxiety and depression. I’d been on antidepressants on and off for like 12 years. I was currently on them so I didn’t understand why I was still feeling this bad.

The psychiatrist gave me a lot of assessments to take and decided to add a mood stabilizer to my medication. Because of my long period of “manic” behavior and then slipping into this deep depression, she decided to treat me for Bipolar Depression.

Slowly after starting the medication, I began to feel a little better. But I was still so lonely. I didn’t have much interaction with adults except my husband. They didn’t really need me at Rustic Llama very often and other than that, I was pretty much at home.

January 1 my husband told me maybe I should think about getting a full time job out of the house so that I could be around other people and distract my mind. I wasn’t too excited about the idea but told him I’d think about it. I hadn’t been doing anything for the podcast and hadn’t marketed my web design services in a while. I had about 3 active projects going on at that time. On January 2 I didn’t leave my bed. My husband brought me breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed because I just couldn’t get up.

Well January 3 I unexpectedly got a message from someone I didn’t know saying she was hiring for her company. The rest of that story you can read about here. But in short, it was perfect timing, and I accepted the position.

Ever since started my new job, I have been so incredibly happy. I’m getting to create content for an amazing company and travel all over the country. It’s honestly a dream job. It combines social media, web design, photo, video and the beauty industry—all things I love. Plus I get to be around some amazing people every day.

Since it is a full time job, I’ve had to decide what I’m going to focus my time on since I have very little left now. Unfortunately Lexi and I decided to retire the podcast because we are both just too busy to devote the time to it. I am still available to take web design projects, but I just have to be very selective now with what I take on. I’m also not actively promoting it since I don’t the time to take on a lot of clients.

So what am I focusing on? I’m circling all the way back to the beginning of my journey and focusing on sharing all things beauty, fashion, home, mental health and life as a working mom of 3. These are the things I’m truly passionate about and love sharing. It’s freeing to not be stressed about promoting my services and to just share what I love.

I’ll be honest, Instagram is not my favorite anymore. I’m much more partial to Tiktok. I think it’s because most people aren’t trying to impress anyone on Tiktok, they’re just being real. I not only have my personal Tiktok, but I started a new account at the beginning of the year dedicated to cleaning, organizing and home renovations. That account has blown up and I have over 27K followers and counting on it.

Life is funny. You think you’ll never ever have a “real” job again and then you get offered a dream job. You think you’ll hire someone to clean for you for the rest of your life and then all of a sudden you’re obsessed with cleaning and have over 27K people watching you clean online. You think you have it all figured out and then you realize you have nothing figured out. You think you’re in control of your mental health and then find out you’ve been treated for the wrong thing for a long time.

One thing I know for certain, time goes by so fast, even when it feels like it’s slow. So there’s no need to try and rush through the season you’re in. It’s all coming together for a bigger purpose. Everything we go through helps shape us into who we are. I’m thankful for all the sad times because they make the happy times that much better. I know there will be more hard times in my life, that’s inevitable, but I also know there a lot more wonderful times ahead. And that’s what I choose to look forward to.

If you’ve been here since the beginning of my journey in 2019, bless your soul for sticking with me during all the ups and downs. If you’re new to following along with me, I hope I didn’t scare you away. I’m an open book and I don’t hold back. So you can always expect me to lay it all out there.

I’m looking forward to this new chapter where I continue to share my life and the things that I love with you all. And of course I’m thrilled about my new job and sharing all my travels with you.

Here’s to growth and working on ourselves. Here’s to happiness.

xoxo, lindsey
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