a new decade has come + gone – goodbye 2019 – hello 2020
a whole year has come and gone. tomorrow will be the beginning of a new month, a new year, + a new decade.
i have been seeing everyone’s posts about their new year’s resolutions + things they want to stop or start in 2020. anyone else out there feel like thinking of new year’s resolutions feels a lot like just shaming yourself on everything you’re doing wrong?
i have fallen down this rabbit hole of “you need to work out more + eat better + clean more + be a better mom + write more + not sleep in so much + not look like a bum 75% of the time”. don’t get me wrong, i’m all about bettering yourself + setting goals, but not at the expense of your mental health. because that list of things i need to do also sounds like this: “you are fat + eat like crap + your house is an embarrassment + you’re a bad mom + you suck at blogging + you sleep all the time, yet you’re always tired + you look terrible 75% of the time”.
these thoughts are self sabotaging. i’ve been in + out of a funk the past few days because of this. i have goals for 2020, + i definitely want to see them through, but i also don’t want to be so hard on myself. like, i raised three children, including a newborn, pretty much all by myself this fall. (my husband is a high school teacher + football coach so he was NEVER home from august-november.) my house is 80-90% picked up all the time. there are days i don’t put on makeup or nice clothes, but there are also a lot of days when i dress up + do my hair + makeup when i have nowhere to be. yes, i don’t write as much as i should, but i also have another job plus 3 kids to raise. writing can wait. my babies are growing up in front of my eyes. the working out + eating better topic is the worst. i am not a great eater. i don’t love + crave healthy things. in fact, i crave the exact opposite: carbs + sweets. i actually do enjoy working out (depending on what it is), but my excuse is always, “i don’t have enough time.” my younger two are in mother’s morning out for only 12 hours a week. those 12 hours i need to spend to do my work from home job, plus my design company, plus my blog. i also use that time to run any errands i need to run or make any appointments. i know that i need to workout more than i’ve been doing. + i’m just going to have to suck it up + do it. MAKE the time. because i’m a firm believer that you make time for the things you want to make time for. no one is EVER too busy to do the things they truly WANT to do.
so i try to cut myself some slack + not go into the new year in a complete funk feeling crappy about myself + the life i have. i am trying to be optimistic + realistic with myself.
i’ve been thinking for a while now about what my “word” of 2020 is going to be. i see people doing this every year, but i’ve never done it. + this year i want to do one that aligns with my goals.
so my word of the year for 2020 is FREE:
FREE from criticizing myself.
FREE from fear.
FREE from worrying.
FREE from financial strain.
FREE from this extra weight.
here are my goals for 2020:
- i’m going to try my best to eat better + cook more healthy meals at home.
- i’m going to join the gym by my kids’ daycare + go workout at least 2 times a week after i drop them off.
- i’m going to compliment myself every time i find i’m criticizing myself.
- i’m going to work work work on my blog + my brand. take chances. go for the collaboration or partnership that i feel is “too big” for little ole me. i’m going to continue to connect, ask for help, + learn as much as i can.
- i’m not going to worry about things i cannot control. i’m going to take control of everything i can take control of.
- i’m going to spend more deliberate time engaging with my kids. “the days are long, but the years are short.”
- i’m going to work hard at real relationships, not just those online friendships, but actually seeing people in person. there’s nothing like actually being there with someone face to face.
- i’m going to work hard at making money + saving money.
- i’m going to go on vacations with my family this year.
- i’m going to try + not wallow in the fact that i’m turning 30 very, very soon (less than a month). this might be the hardest one of all.
these might seem pretty obvious + redundant like the goals that pretty much everyone has every year, but they truly do mean a lot to me, + i have put a lot of time + reflection into these. by the end of 2020, i hope i can see that i’ve spent a ton of quality time with my kids + my family, i’ve not criticized myself so much, i’ve gotten in better shape + overall am in better health, i’ve made a lot more money + saved a lot more money, i’m embracing my 30s + killin’ it at being a 30 year old mom of three!
i hope this year doesn’t fly by, but man i can’t wait to see what all i accomplish this year!
do you have a word of the year for 2020?
what are your goals for yourself or your business in 2020?